Summer Family Resolve 2008
Reconciliation
Forgiving Others
The first thing I would like to do this morning is spend the first couple of minutes to review what has been taught this weekend. I am not going to spend too much on these subjects but I felt a quick reminder would be good for everyone. Unless I tell you otherwise my quotations come out of the New American Standard Bible.
We started off on Friday night talking about guilt. We were all reminded that we are guilty and that we know that we are guilty. We all have the knowledge of God and His law is engrained in us. It is written on all of our hearts.
Romans 1:18,19 “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them.”
Romans 2:15”Since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.”
I disagree with some who teach that guilt is only a tool of the enemy. It can be but, I believe that often times it is a gift from the Holy Spirit prompting us to look and deal with unresolved sin issues in our lives.
We need of course to turn away from sin. We need to confess and repentant of those things that the Holy Spirit has caused us to feel guilty about. Following confession and true repentance guilt should not be part of our lifestyle.
1st John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
We also need to understand the fact that our sins have been cast away. Once we confess and repent they are dealt with and forgotten.
Hebrews 9:28 “So Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him.”
We need to replace our guilt with correct thinking.
Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
Paul understood that our focus often times becomes our reality. He implores all of us to focus on the things that are true, and honorable, pure and lovely, instead of focusing on our past hurts and our past guilt’s. We should be focusing on the truth that those things no longer have any power over us.
On Saturday morning we then moved into discussion on confession and repentance. We were shown how confession is necessary for true healing.
Psalm 32:5 “I acknowledge my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord;’ and You forgave the guilt of my sin.”
2nd Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.”
Confession involves commitment.
Ephesians 4:22-24 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (NIV)
We need to be vigilant in being rid of the “old man” and cover ourselves daily with our “new self,” covering ourselves in the armor of God.
Saturday afternoon we talked about seeking forgiveness. The first thing we talked about is how God will forgive our sins.
Romans 8:1, 2 “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Chris Jesus. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”
God’s forgiveness is complete.
Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Isaiah 38:17”Lo, for my own welfare I had great bitterness; it is You who has kept my soul from the pit of nothingness, for You have cast all of my sins behind your back.”
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”
Micah 7:19 “He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.”
Asking for forgiveness is more than a good idea, it is a requirement.
Mark 11:25, 26“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father will also forgive you your transgressions. 26But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”
Matthew 18:21, 22 “Then Peter came to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
God offers complete restoration. Here we come back to:
2nd Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.”
All of this weekends teaching has lead to today’s subject of forgiving others. I believe forgiveness really is a process. Without understanding that first of all we are all guilty, we won’t have any reason to confess anything. Without a desire to confess and repent we won’t have any desire to seek out forgiveness. And without knowing that we have been forgiven first, we will have little to no reason to forgive someone who wrongs us.
All of that leads us up to this morning; forgiving others. As people commit to Christ as Lord in their lives and consequently make an effort to be conformed into His image they find that the Christian walk isn’t all about what He can do for us, but it is also about what He expects from us; you could even say what He demands of His followers.
Now I could spend all of our time this morning and give a list of such expectations, our focus, however, this morning will be on just one of these commands; that is to forgive others. For anyone who would be interested in a more exhaustive list of what Jesus does demand of His followers let me recommend “What Jesus demands from the world,” written by John Piper.
But, back to this mornings subject. Forgiveness isn’t an easy topic. It isn’t easy to teach on, because for me forgiveness is not always easy. And I know from talking to lots of people in my years in ministry it is not always a subject people like to be taught. For a large number of people, they enjoy holding grudges. I know because more times than I would care to admit to everyone this morning I have fallen into this category. Pride will always try to get in the way of forgiveness. It will try and justify the harboring of ill feelings. It will make attempts to rationalize our thoughts of our duplicity. By duplicity I mean, when we are honest with ourselves we all want to be forgiven, we just don’t always want to forgive. But:
-Forgiving others is not an option.
In Matthew 6:9-15 Jesus teaches us a pattern for pray and follows it up with a very important message about forgiveness.
“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 10Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11Give us this day our daily bread. 12And forgive our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ 14For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But, if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”
Jesus says again!
Mark 11:24-26 “Therefore I say to you, all things which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. 25Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father will also forgive you your transgressions. 26But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”
If you truly want your sins to be forgiven Jesus says you must be willing to forgive others of their sin against you.
Another reason to forgive is because we are reminded to:
-Forgive because you have been forgiven.
Colossians 3:12, 13 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a compliant against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
Ephesians 4:31-5:2 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice. 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 5:1Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”
Matthew 18:23-35 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents (millions of dollars) was brought to him. 25But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. 26So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 27And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him and the debt. 28But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii (three days wages); and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ 29So his fellow slave fell to the ground and to plead with him saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 30But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. 31So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. 32Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 35My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
It is pretty apparent to me the implications of this story that Jesus told. We can take from this story that you and I have been forgiven much more than we will ever be asked to forgive someone else. And if we chose not to forgive our brother or sister it will only serve to anger God who has forgiven us much. That isn’t a popular stance to take in today’s society; that of an angry God. But, it is clear to me, from this story in particular, that our lack of forgiveness towards others does indeed cause God to become righteously angry at us. And let me just say that He has every right to do so.
At times it is easy for us to rationalize our lack of zeal to forgive by what we perceive to be an unpardonable act; whether it is because of the offender or because the act itself was so horrifying. We need to remember:
-God offers forgiveness to all who ask.
Psalm 130:3, 4 “If you Lord should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? 4But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared.”
Romans 8:1, 2 “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Chris Jesus. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”
Another way to say that would be to say, “Therefore there is now forgiveness for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Micah 7:18, 19 “Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in unchanging love. 19He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.”
We too need to remember:
-There is no limit to forgiveness.
Luke 17:3, 4 “Be on guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents forgive him. 4And if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
Matthew 18:21, 22 “Then Peter came to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Jesus is not saying literally we only need to forgive four hundred and ninety times. His point is that we should not count at all how many times we are asked to forgive someone nor keep count of how many times we actually forgive, even if it is the same offense on the same day.
I would challenge you today to start to start using Christ as our example of forgiving others. In my study on this subject to prepare for this weekend I came to realize that nowhere in scripture does it tell us to forgive only when it is asked for.
That one really stunned me for a moment. I’ll be honest and tell you that I didn’t really like that too much. There have been times where I rather enjoyed holding on to a misdeed done to me because the individual never asked me to forgive them. It seems that once again I failed to understand the underling principle. That we all have been forgiven much, and we are expected to forgive back; and in the big picture what we are expected to forgive is miniscule compared to what we have been forgiven.
Jesus came into His life not having any guilt; there was nothing for Him to be guilty of. Yet he took our guilt as His own. He sought forgiveness for us and forgave us by taking our sin as His. He took ownership of it, and released us from it; by spilling His blood as a perfect sacrifice freely given so that His Father could have a relationship with every single one of us.
Shouldn’t we then be willing to confess our own guilt to others and to God Himself and seek forgiveness from those we have wronged? And in turn shouldn’t we be willing to forgive as much as we have been forgiven? No matter the offense or the offender?
I would like to end my time with you this morning by asking a few questions:
Who if anyone have you been harboring ill will towards? More specifically is it your husband? Is it your wife? Or maybe one of your parents?
I would encourage any of you who have been holding on to old hurts to commit to forgiving whoever it is in your life that you need to forgive.
Remember “Just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
Prayer
